雅思G類6.5分大作文

隨著全球化的加速和教育的多樣化，越來越多的學生選擇留學，而在申請國外大學時，語言考試是繞不開的一環(huán)，本文和大家說一說：雅思G類6.5分大作文，一起往下來看看吧。

題目：Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Different people hold different point of view regarding（用這個句子的考生太多） the way media treat famous personalities, specifically in terms of coverage of their private lives. I strongly believe that the media should refrain itself from breaching the privacy of notable personalities （要用and）I will provide suitable reasoning to support my stand. To further strengthen my position, light on the other view point will also be shed along with discussing its faults.（表述模糊，不具體。開頭段應具有預告主體段的作用，不要寫可有可無的內(nèi)容）

Firstly, it It should be noted that privacy is equally needed by everyone.（中心句過于概括。應出現(xiàn)題目關鍵詞）For me privacy is our rightcannot be compromised in any way. In my opinion, media nowadays fail to draw line between privatesocial life. It greatly thoroughly confuses the two and the result is obnoxious, unethical, spiced up news. Taking the example of the latest news hype about around a Pakistani actress wearing in western clothessmoking with an Indian star;（分號不能清楚表明句間關系，應使用恰當?shù)倪B接方式）the act itself is very personal but media of both countries didnt fail to fully cover it and make a fuss out of it. It can be easily estimated that 40% of news influx is related to private matters of celebrities(加逗號) and this needs to change. They use it to increase their channel rankingsget maximum viewership.

On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes that fame comes for a certain pricethat is to sacrifice your privacy（指代不清）. They （指代不清）are comfortable with media breaching privacy of celebrities as they are of the opinion that claim that（表達要簡潔）a celebrity becomes a national assetis the bearer of national culture. I again, condemn this thoughtbelieves（I believe，主謂一致錯誤）that it is unethical to poke around into private matters of anyone.

論點缺乏支撐。

Concluding, In conclusion, I want to say that line must be is bound to be drawn between a celebritys privatesocial lifemedia should avoid invading their lives, as privacy is our psychological need.（結(jié)尾段不要提出新觀點）It is not an acceptable a major trend to use such news for increased channel ratings.

結(jié)尾段應總結(jié)全文并再次強調(diào)個人觀點。

總分：6.5

● Task Response: 6

? 回應了問題所有部分，有些部分比其他部分更充分

? 觀點扣題，但結(jié)論不夠清晰

? 論點扣題，但有些論點拓展不夠

● Coherence and Cohesion: 6

連貫地組織信息和論點，行文推進清晰

? 有效使用連接詞，但句間連接不恰當或不自然

? 有時指代不清/不當

? 分了段，但缺乏邏輯(缺少對論點的支撐)

● Lexical Resource: 7

? 詞匯豐富，體現(xiàn)一定的靈活和準確

? 使用非常用詞，對語體和搭配有認識

? 存在用詞不準確、拼寫、詞性等小錯誤

● Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

? 使用多種復雜結(jié)構(gòu)

? 句子準確無誤

? 語法和標點錯誤很少

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